


did you see where my heart went?

by SuchCringeJay



Series: The Moment I Found You [1]
Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: 5sos doesn’t exist, Angst? With a happy ending, First Kiss, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Happy Ending, Heartbreak, M/M, Overthinking, felix falls in love too muc, felix is also quite oblivious, jilix birth, jisung is oblivious, seungmin and jeongin is implied, slight angst, slight changbin and chan, slight minho and hyunjin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-15
Updated: 2020-09-15
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:00:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,787
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26472271
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SuchCringeJay/pseuds/SuchCringeJay
Summary: as much as he could say he didn't need felix, felix was the reason he kept pursuing his dream, felix truly believed in him.or jisung tries his best to comfort the love of his life before deciding he’s had enough
Relationships: Bang Chan/Seo Changbin, Han Jisung | Han/Lee Felix, Hwang Hyunjin/Lee Minho | Lee Know, Kim Seungmin/Yang Jeongin | I.N
Series: The Moment I Found You [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1925053
Comments: 1
Kudos: 38





	did you see where my heart went?

**Author's Note:**

> hi so like this work is rewritten greatly, ive taken someone out and made the story overall better posting this on felix’s birthday because jilix birth!
> 
> also this is not beta read so if you see any mistakes, no you dont.
> 
> please enjoy this fic that i worked so hard on,

* * *

"i've told you before, felix, and i can tell you again. you don't need love! men are trash when it comes to caring for someone, and you should know this by now!" jisung could hear soft sniffles coming from the other end of the line. jisung sighed and ran his hand through his hair, he was in the middle of writing and producing a song for his latest single. he was planning on getting everything done that night, sleep not even being considered, but felix called him up, jisung dropped everything and answered the boy almost immediately. he had been met with the soft sniffles, his heart breaking into pieces as he heard as felix finally spoke

"my heart just hurts so much ji, i thought he was the one this time.. i guess not." jisung listened as felix spoke, his voice raspy from all the crying he had done prior to the voice call. jisung wanted to beat this guy up, he knew felix deserved so much better than an asshole who thinks playing with peoples hearts is funny. jisung was snapped out of his trance when he heard felix speak again.

"it's getting late sung, i'm gonna get some rest. please get some rest as well, i know youre gonna work on that stupid song, you still have time before the deadline." jisung huffed out in defeat, not even ready to argue with the heartbroken boy on the other line.

"you know me so well, huh." jisung chuckled. "you better get some rest, i'll go to bed too.. okay?" jisung heard a soft hum of agreement from felix on the other line.

"goodnight, jisung." his voice is soft, jisung thought.

"goodnight, felix." jisung heard as the line cut, it had been an hour since felix had initially called. jisung fell back into his seat and looks at the unfinished lyrics on screen. he sighs and gets up from the office chair and hauls himself over to his room and onto his bed. as much as he hated to be away from work, felix was right, he had a month till his deadline and he had time to spare.

jisung changed into comfier clothes before plopping down onto his bed with a heavy sigh. he stared up at the ceiling as he relaxed into the bed. jisung was trapped, in his mind and in a stupid crush he wanted to move on from felix, he really did, but his heart wouldn't let him, it couldn't let him. as much as he could say he didn't need felix, felix was the reason he kept pursuing his dream, felix truly believed in him.

that's why it hurt to bad to see felix in pain, crying over guys who thought it was okay to toy with other people's emotions. it hurt so bad seeing felix date other guys that just weren't him. jisung sat up quickly, he looks at the time before thinking.

'it's late and felix could get mad at me, but at the same time i could tell him how i feel through a song i'll write just for him.'

jisung weighed the options before running back to his studio in pajamas.

sleep could wait a little longer.

—

a knock was heard on the studio door. jisung looked down at his watch, it was 3 am, who the hell is up, he thought.

"jisung..?" jisung chuckled as he heard the familiar voice of his band mate. he was so lucky chan never slept, sometimes.

"come in, hyung." jisung answered loud enough for the other to hear. he saw as chan came into the room with a plate of fruits and vegetables in hand. he smiled to himself as chan se the plate down next to his keyboard.

"i knew you wouldn't sleep tonight, you shouldn't work so hard, sometimes, you need to sleep sometimes too." jisung smiles and watched as chan also set a glass of water down. he shakes his head and pulls out the small chair next to his, motioning for chan to sit down.

"i could say the same for you, chan. you aren't exactly the person to give advice here." chan sat next to jisung and held his hands up in defeat.

"okay, okay. you've got me" chan chuckles as he looks up at the monitors in front of jisung, the smile on his face never faltering.

"so, what are you writing?" jisung looked back over at his monitors to see the file he'd been working on. he looks back at chan before sighing.

"it's for felix, i thought that maybe if i'm able to tell him how i feel through song, it'll make the rejection hurt less." jisung turned back to the monitor, reading the lyrics on screen. he realized how much he was really going to tell felix. he was going to confess his love for him, and all jisung could bring himself to do was continue.

"rejection will still hurt, but i guess you have a point. do you have a title yet?" jisung thinks about it for a second, he didn't even think about one, if anything he didn't think he'd need one, it was just a love song.. right?

"i don't have one yet.." jisung says softly. he embarrassed, he's writing a love song to one of his best friends and he doesn't even have a title for it yet!

"can i see the lyrics, maybe i can help a bit?" jisung nodded and turned the main monitor towards chan so he could get a better view of the screen. he read over the lyrics and nodded as he turned to jisung.

"heartbreak boy. because as much as you love him, he stays oblivious. since you say it in the chorus, i feel like it's a good fit." jisung feels himself smile at the suggestion and gives chan a nod.

"i like that, because every time felix falls in love with someone new.. it breaks my heart, and although he doesn't mean to, he does. it doesn't matter to me, he always talks about how his heart aches and how he's tired of people moving on from him so fast, but i just sit and try to comfort him while i'm hurting as well.. maybe i'm not enough?" chan shakes his head and gives jisung a stern look.

"you are more than enough, han jisung. if felix didn't think the same, he wouldn't have stayed by your side. he would be a fool to not accept your confession, so if you want i could call up changbin, we can help you get this song finished in time." jisung nods and hugs chan tightly.

"hm, whats this for, ji?" jisung smiles softly, letting out a soft sigh.

"for always being there for me and supporting me through everything, hyung." chan smiles and hugs jisung back just as tightly.

"you're welcome, ji. now, let's start this new project, we’ll call it song for feix.” chan chuckles and squeezes jisung tightly 

“felix will absolutely love it, especially if it was made by you. " jisung pulls away from the hug and smiles widely.

"thank you hyung, this means so much to me, you don't even know." jisung turns the monitor back and gets back to working as chan stepped out to call changbin.

he wanted to do this, he was ready to finally tell felix how he felt, even if it could ruin their friendship. jisung was more than ready to give felix this long overdue confession.

—

felix was tired, he was absolutely exhausted.

he wanted to take a break and finally find someone to soothe his aching heart. it stung even more when he saw how everyone around him was happy and in love, but he couldn't even get one guy to stay with him after the second date. he wanted to find someone new, someone to finally help him get over his best friend.

he sighed and stared up at the ceiling as he ended the call with jisung. he loved him, so much more than a friend should. he absolutely hated how much jisung never showed sighed of interest towards him. he could be over thinking it, but with jisung it's always 'ill call you tomorrow, okay?' with him.

he turned onto his side in annoyance. maybe he should just give up? his 'soulmate' would come to him, it's like fate.. right? felix sat up and looked at the time.

it wasn't that late, it was about 11 pm, usually he'd sleep around 1 am, so he had a little bit of time before his body clock told him he needed to sleep, especially with how much he had been crying.

he sighed and brought out his phone to text his comfort group chat, sending them a text consisting of the crying cat emoji. maybe felix was overthinking it.

but it just pained him to see jisung always being lovey dovey with hyunjin or changbin whenever they came around. he hated seeing jisung happy with someone who wasn't him. it sounds selfish but it really hurts, ever since felix first laid eyes upon jisung, he knew he wanted this man to be his forever. something about jisung drew him in and he hated it so much.

granted, felix knew jisung didn't like him, he KNEW jisung probably liked hyunjin, and he always thought that hyunjin liked jisung back, it was very obvious by the way he stared at jisung, but what felix didn't know was that they were just best friends. hyunjin has always looked out for jisung and vice versa, plus would never steal someone felix liked, hyunjin only looked at jisung in a brotherly way, (hyunjin has been secretly in love with minho, anyways).

felix didn't know that, nor did he have the guts to ask about their relationship, he didn't have courage to somehow get his heart to break even more than it already had.

he loved jisung, he had for awhile, only recently realizing that this was love love. he could never tell him though, the fear of ruining such a good friendship and watching jisung hate him was not something he wanted to deal with. he was a chicken, but to be honest he HATED rejection, i mean who doesn't. the thought of jisung hating him for that reason hurt, it hurt like hell, but even as felix continued to date other men, no one would be able to steal his heart like han jisung could.

felix felt his phone buzz. he opened it to see a text back from hyunjin.

_**hyunjin**_ :

why are you sad? did jisung hurt you? did the other asshole you were dating dump you?

felix waited a few seconds before replying.

_**me:** _

youngjae said he found a better match, and i called jisung to comfort me and i just..

i realized something.

_**minho:** _

_and that is would be..?_

_**me:** _

_i'm absolutely_

_positively_

_quite amazingly sure_

_that i'm head over heels_

_for han jisung_

_**hyunjin:** _

_it's about time you finally told us_

_you got annoying with 'dropping hints'_

_like you call those hints?_

_who else out of your friends can get 3 strikes in bowling?_

_it's definitely not minho or seungmin let me tell you that._

_**me:** _

_._

_so you guys just knew this entire time??_

_who else knows??_

_**hyunjin:** _

_literally all of us,_

_changbin and chan hyungs included_

**_me_** :

_HOW??_

**_jeongin:_ **

_oh come on lix hyung_

_everyone read you like a book_

_jisung hyung however_

_is stupidly oblivious to see that you_

_are in love with him_

_so you're safe_

_**me:** _

_thank god he's stupid sometimes_

_i would cry if he found out i loved him_

_**seungmin:** _

_i mean it wouldn't be that bad_

_**me:** _

_it'd be TERRIBLE_

_he!! doesnt!! like!! me!! like!! i!! like!! him!!_

_**seungmin:** _

_felix have you SEEN the way he looks at you?_

_how no matter what he's doing he'll always drop_

_it because he cares more about you than_

_he does his work_

_**me:** _

_he's just being a good friend.._

_**hyunjin:** _

_you're hopeless_

_go to sleep felix_

_or else 🔪_

_**me:** _

_fine_

_goodnight fRiEnDs_

felix closed his phone and fell back onto his bed. maybe they were all right, maybe jisung did like him. he sighed and covered himself with his blankets and closed his eyes.

"tomorrow will be a better day" he drifted off to sleep as whispered.

-

the next day came pretty quick.

felix got up and ready for the day, taking a bath and changing into some decent clothes, before drying and styling his hair. when he was done he checked his phone, looking through all the notifications on his lock screen. there were mainly texts from the group chat, and some encouraging texts from jeongin and seungmin but other than that it wasn't very exciting.

he shrugged and walked to the kitchen, grabbing setting his phone down and grabbing some fruit, he slices them up carefully and sighs.

he thinks to himself, it seemed as if everyone could hear his thoughts with how loud they were being, but he didn't care. he felt as if it was time to let jisung go, to let his feelings go, he was going to go out and find a new guy, that'll sweep him off his feet, a fairytale ending as he usually put it.

his thoughts were stopped abruptly as he heard a ping come from his phone. he put the knife down and picked up his phone. a text from jisung? he was confused, the text was vague and it confused him. jisung was never up this early, it's 11 am on a saturday. felix shook the thought away, maybe he took my advice for once.

"hangout at mine, 3pm! be there or be square, cozy attire only <3" felix read the text aloud and let out a small sigh. he answered back two minutes later, trying to fully process the text message he just received.

_**me:** _

so suddenly?

felix chuckled and waited for jisung's response, which came not even 5 minutes later.

**_jisung:_ **

is that a no? because i have some

strawberries that look pretty lonely

**me:**

i never said it was a no!

i'll be over and those strawberries

better not be a lie

or i will kick your ass han jisung

_**jisung:** _

okay okay

don't be so aggresive <3

also maybe it's also a really early sleep over

so maybe you should bring you blanket

tips for later <3

_**me:** _

han jisung you son of a bitch!

felix ended the convo there, going back to chopping his fruits. he wondered what jisung was planning, it was obviously a sleepover, but why so suddenly, and it wasn't even felix who initiated the sleepover (he was clingy okay :( ).

just decided to listen to jisung anyways, a blanket in his hands and a bag over clothes strung over his arm as he stood on the doorstep. he knocked on the door, panicking a small bit, having been 5 minutes late. it was mainly his fault for telling hyunjin, who brought minho, seungmin, and jeongin to help him pic out a cozy 'hangout' outfit.

they sent him off in a clean hoodie and a pair of black sweatpants. seungmin applies light makeup as minho did his nails. hyunjin and jeongin teaming up to pick clothes. a little over the top, but felix didn't care.

he stops fiddling with his fingers as chan opens the door, smiling widely.

"hey felix, you're here! jisung is upstairs in his studio, changbin and i were just heading out, so you guys will be alone for a good while." chan smiles sweetly and moves slightly out of the doorway to let felix into the house. chan, changbin, and jisung lived together, as a rap trio they like to keep things as close as possible, including each other.

as felix wishes changbin and chan off, felix heads upstairs. he was nervous, his heart was beating loudly in his chest, his cheeks were already heating up at the thought of finally telling jisung what's been on his mind for the passed few years.

as he reached jisung's studio door, he takes a deep breath, placing his stuff right outside the entrance, he knocked on the door. his heart betraying him in this battle of man vs self.

"who is it?" felix smiled as he heard jisung. no matter how many times jisung invited him over, he could never get over the fact that he always asked who it was, knowing felix and him had a certain knock that they always stuck to.

"felix." he looked down shyly and smiled. he hears shuffling behind the door, and a curse as he seemingly drops something, before the door is finally opened. felix immediately looks up, and watches as jisung tries to hold back a smile. god he's so stupid, felix thinks.

jisung was dressed in sweatpants and a hoodie, he was sweating a little, having prepared all of felix's favorite things such as strawberries, games, he even had netflix on the cartoons felix adored. it'll be worth it jisung thought, it'll be worth the wait.

it was felix who finally broke the silence, with a small 'hey' jisung shook his head from the thoughts and let felix into his studio. his heart was pounding in his chest as he watches felix examine the place in awe.

"what's the occasion? did i forget one of our anniversaries?" felix turned his head back to jisung as he spoke. jisung shook his head and chuckled nervously, felix could see worry in his eyes as he moved over to his setup, clicking on a file before turning back to felix.

"you should sit down for this.." and felix listens.

jisung takes a deep breath, trying to calm his nerves before speaking again.

"i've made something for you lee felix, i really hope this doesn't blow up in my face, because you're one of the best things that's ever happened to me."

jisung sat down in the desk chair and hit play, the first sound being that of the guitar played at the beginning. he spun his chair around to face felix who was still very much confused.

_you call me up, it's like a broken record, saying that your heart hurts.. that you never get over him getting over you, and you end up crying, and I end up lying, 'cause I'm just a sucker for anything that you do._

jisung watches as felix listens intently.

_and when the phone call finally ends,, you say, "Thanks for being a friend, " and we're going in circles again and again.." felix listens to the words carefully and it just felt.. like him._

_i dedicate this song to you,the one who never sees the truth, that I can take away your hurt, heartbreak boy. hold you tight straight through the day light, i'm right here, when you gonna realize that I'm your cure, heartbreak boy? **that.. this is for me..?**_

when the song had ended, jisung turned his chair around and stopped it from playing again. he took in a deep breath before finally turned back to felix who had already begun to tear up.

"i would've told you sooner, but i was afraid of rejection, i know you too well and i know how fast you move on from someone lix, and i didn't want to be like that, i don't wanna just be someone who you drop after a day like the rest felix, i wanna be the one you spend your forever with, i want a life with you lee felix, not a day goes by where you don't cross my mind." felix smiles and looks at jisung, he reaches out and takes jisung's hands in his pulling jisung closer, his chair sliding closer.

felix did what any other person would do when the love of their life, and crush confesses to them. he cupped jisung's cheeks and kissed him softly. it lasted a few seconds before felix pulled away. jisung didn't mind it at all, the kiss had everything jisung wanted, especially love.

jisung, however, was still shocked. how could he expect felix to kiss him, or even reciprocate his feelings, felix was so quiet through the entire song, not even showing expressions. jisung expected him to run out and never talk to him again at most, but that didn't happen. instead he,THE lee felix, kissed him right on the lips. it didn't feel real. but it was. he was so so real, and it felt so so good. jisung really was in love.

although it was after felix pulled away when he finally spoke.

"i'm sorry i've been so oblivious to your feelings, i've been so focused on trying to get over you i didn't realize how much it pained you to hear me cry to you every night. you suck, han jisung, and i hate you. i hate how amazing you are, and how much you deserve the entire world. hell, i love you so so much jisung it's ridiculous." felix took in a deep breath after speaking, looking for a reaction in jisung.

jisung only gave him a wide smile.

"so i guess this is the right time to ask.." jisung intertwined their fingers together, before finally speaking up again.

"will you, lee felix, do me, han jisung, the honor of being your beloved boyfriend?" felix chuckles and pulls jisung into a hug, which lands them both onto the covered couch.

"sounds like we're getting married, but yes, i would be and honor to be your boyfriend han jisung."

and they lay there for hours, until felix fell asleep on jisung's chest. jisung followed suit minutes later, snuggling on the small couch together.

yeah, maybe they were in love.

—

"jisung, did felix-" chan walked into jisung's studio, finding both felix and jisung sound asleep on the couch. he smiled and walked over to them placing a blanket over them, gently. he stared at them and walked backwards towards the door, bumping into changbin in the process.

"they finally got together?" he said softly and wrapped his arms around chan, capturing him in a back hug.

"should we tell them we're gonna get married soon? or should we just wait it out until they notice." chris chuckles and and turns around to face changbin. chan stared at changbin, eyes full of love.

"you act like they're smart enough to figure it out, look how long it took them to get together." chan smiles and glances at the sleeping duo, before looking back at changbin.

"this staring is kinda creepy so why don't we go, babe?" changbin places a small kiss on chan's lips before muttering a small 'okay' while leading chan out.

**Author's Note:**

> okay hi i hope you enjoyed that, i have to insert chan and changbin because it was a need and not a want, we needed that and you know it 
> 
> anyways this was supposed to be published on lix’s bday but that didn’t work out so well. i really hope this rewrite was good because i might have a whole stray kids series planned 
> 
> other than that feel free to comment or leave kudos!
> 
> you can find me on twitter! @notbeomgyu


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